I’d like to play off your publication name “rent free” in saying, let’s not allow them to take up anymore space in our heads. 😌 It hasn’t been easy but I’ve been doing the work to reprogram and decondition my mind from the racist-eurocentric standards of beauty I grew up being told I had to adhere to. I thoroughly enjoyed this read & as always Ayan keep them coming!! 🫶🏾
how do i tell you this is a piece of writing that should be in print?! I want to have this writing on my wall. I can’t thank you enough for writing this, so i’ll just start with THANK YOU
I had no idea Zendaya was receiving that type of hate for being with Tom Holland. All I've ever seen is support for their relationship. But this piece taps into the pain that comes with being a black woman. While I support us opening our options, the amount of trash that comes with it is just so ugly. I've concluded that the unique situation that black women find themselves in most of us are better off single, but I digress before I incur someone's wrath.
Edit: actually I don’t. I’ve been thinking about how many of these women still pursue relationships with these men despite the backlash they receive. I assume it’s because they are refusing to allow someone else’s opinions to dictate their “happiness.” That sooner or later these people will accept their relationship and them. In the meantime, I have to wonder… are they really happy? Meghan sure wasn’t, she made that clear enough. But I believe they stay because at the end of the day they are just like every other woman. They all want to be chosen by the prince and live happily ever after with him and they are willing to sacrifice their sanity and peace of mind in order to achieve that (I'm looking at you Kate Middleton). I believe they allow their men’s love for them to take precedent over everyone else’s hard feelings. But I don’t think one person’s love is enough to compensate for a whole barrage of hate. But these women seem to.
When I imagine myself in their shoes, I imagine myself leaving those men in a heartbeat if I began to receive even an ounce of the hate they did. I can imagine them telling me to not let other people’s words deny me my happiness. But I think that’s a matter of priorities. These women prioritize romance, children, and domestic life. They are willing to pay the price for it. I am not. My happiness can be found on a farm in Switzerland with two dogs named Harold and Leopold, spending my afternoons writing and my evening watching a film. But that’s just me.
this experience is so relatable and and almost subconsciously built into our psyche to accept. I had a similar experience at the bus stop as well. It’s almost like being a black woman comes with telling us who to be. All the while those same ppl would rather copy and paste everything we already are. I wish I could go back tell little me that you’re not who they insensately want you to believe you are. You are everything they want and more.
I think the real devastation comes from the fact that I internalized this belief at a young age that my worth beauty etc is not good enough all because a white girl bullied me to make herself look better.thank you for putting words to an internal experience we face regularly. I’ve gotten used to this messaging but I feel for the little girl who didn’t know ppl had the capacity to hate so much.
(Side-note the Meg thee stallion Coachella performance had my gay heart down bad)
thank you not only for reading but for being so vulnerable. i hate that you had to contend with that kind of ugliness from people. may you never experience it again ❤️
I think this is sooo incredible and important!! black women being loved by white boys of the month and then seeing fan reactions are wild 😭😭 thank you for writing this!!
This was incredible Ayan. It was particularly impactful to see the headlines, and especially the side by side with Kate and Meghan -- how the very same action is perceived differently based on their race.
Honestly I’m not that big into pop culture, but even in book fandoms and shows (as you pointed out with Bonnie) its the same thing! It’s tough out here for any black or poc woman whether fictional or not. T^T
I’d like to play off your publication name “rent free” in saying, let’s not allow them to take up anymore space in our heads. 😌 It hasn’t been easy but I’ve been doing the work to reprogram and decondition my mind from the racist-eurocentric standards of beauty I grew up being told I had to adhere to. I thoroughly enjoyed this read & as always Ayan keep them coming!! 🫶🏾
perfectly expressed. we deserve more than trying to fit into boxes even they're trying to escape. thank you for reading my love 🥹❤️
I love FKA, and every time I listen to Cellophane, my heart breaks.
no hearing it makes me feel like i'm getting shot.
As a black woman born and raised in Alabama. Thank you and I see you. <3
my heart 🥹 sending you all my love
how do i tell you this is a piece of writing that should be in print?! I want to have this writing on my wall. I can’t thank you enough for writing this, so i’ll just start with THANK YOU
the highest praise i could get 🥹 thank you darling xx
"a pasty vampire with about as much charisma as a bag of flour. " this is the funniest thing I've read all week
that line made me laugh out loud in my
empty apartment
as long as it made you laugh
I had no idea Zendaya was receiving that type of hate for being with Tom Holland. All I've ever seen is support for their relationship. But this piece taps into the pain that comes with being a black woman. While I support us opening our options, the amount of trash that comes with it is just so ugly. I've concluded that the unique situation that black women find themselves in most of us are better off single, but I digress before I incur someone's wrath.
Edit: actually I don’t. I’ve been thinking about how many of these women still pursue relationships with these men despite the backlash they receive. I assume it’s because they are refusing to allow someone else’s opinions to dictate their “happiness.” That sooner or later these people will accept their relationship and them. In the meantime, I have to wonder… are they really happy? Meghan sure wasn’t, she made that clear enough. But I believe they stay because at the end of the day they are just like every other woman. They all want to be chosen by the prince and live happily ever after with him and they are willing to sacrifice their sanity and peace of mind in order to achieve that (I'm looking at you Kate Middleton). I believe they allow their men’s love for them to take precedent over everyone else’s hard feelings. But I don’t think one person’s love is enough to compensate for a whole barrage of hate. But these women seem to.
When I imagine myself in their shoes, I imagine myself leaving those men in a heartbeat if I began to receive even an ounce of the hate they did. I can imagine them telling me to not let other people’s words deny me my happiness. But I think that’s a matter of priorities. These women prioritize romance, children, and domestic life. They are willing to pay the price for it. I am not. My happiness can be found on a farm in Switzerland with two dogs named Harold and Leopold, spending my afternoons writing and my evening watching a film. But that’s just me.
this experience is so relatable and and almost subconsciously built into our psyche to accept. I had a similar experience at the bus stop as well. It’s almost like being a black woman comes with telling us who to be. All the while those same ppl would rather copy and paste everything we already are. I wish I could go back tell little me that you’re not who they insensately want you to believe you are. You are everything they want and more.
I think the real devastation comes from the fact that I internalized this belief at a young age that my worth beauty etc is not good enough all because a white girl bullied me to make herself look better.thank you for putting words to an internal experience we face regularly. I’ve gotten used to this messaging but I feel for the little girl who didn’t know ppl had the capacity to hate so much.
(Side-note the Meg thee stallion Coachella performance had my gay heart down bad)
thank you not only for reading but for being so vulnerable. i hate that you had to contend with that kind of ugliness from people. may you never experience it again ❤️
I think this is sooo incredible and important!! black women being loved by white boys of the month and then seeing fan reactions are wild 😭😭 thank you for writing this!!
my love thank you for reading it. have we not ranted about this over and over lol?!
Have you heard the song white boy by Jensen McRae? Seems fitting
asalamunaleykum gorgeous🩷🩷
i just wanted to remind u that white girl was 100% jealous of u
she probably thought:
wow i wish i were the smartest, coolest funniest tallest, & most gorgeous in the world like u thats not fair”
🥹😭❤️❤️
This was incredible Ayan. It was particularly impactful to see the headlines, and especially the side by side with Kate and Meghan -- how the very same action is perceived differently based on their race.
thank you as ever for reading Caroline 🥹❤️ also, isn't it absolutely maddening to see the headlines side by side lol? positively deranged.
This is magnificent
Honestly I’m not that big into pop culture, but even in book fandoms and shows (as you pointed out with Bonnie) its the same thing! It’s tough out here for any black or poc woman whether fictional or not. T^T
no we quite literally can't catch a break it's exhausting lol
the only people who are safe are interracial couples in advertisement.
On my mum, you’re the funniest writer in the world.
i'm about to print this comment out and tape it to my wall 🙂↕️
wait, I’m obsessed. It reads like you’re talking to a friend😭
this is always the aim so consider me chuffed ❤️💗
this was so well put. a must must read because ayan artan never misses.
this comment os going to power me through the rest of the day. much love darling 🥹❤️