This is some of the most beautiful writing I've read in a long time. I am imagining all the Somali aunties I grew up with as I read this, and my eyes are welling up with tears. Ayan you have such a gift. Thank you for sharing this piece.
May Allah have mercy on our ayeeyos and grant them the highest honour in the next life for all suffering they endured. When we were granted asylum in Canada, my mother had to leave her mother behind to start a better life for us. I know that decision haunted my her and she wasn’t there to hold her hands during her last breath. It is so painful and I would do anything to soothe her aching heart ❤️🩹
I never had a grandmother... and I feel like an intruder here, being from Latin America... but I loved this so so much, thank you for sharing this, truly 🩷
right now it is friday morning as i read this. which holds alot of significance for me. i have spent my best days with my grandmother; my ammi jaan on a friday afternoon lounging in her room on her bed. this made me feel feelings i have been running away from since forever, which is how long it has been since she took her leave back to the god, she loved and taught us to love. its safe to say i understand a fraction of your feelings. thankyou for writing this down and then sharing it. sending so much love to you and prayers to your grandmother ayan. may she be granted jannat ul firdaus.
I’ve reunited with my ayeeyo for the first time in years this month 🥹 so this piece feels extra heartwarming & personal to me right now, we share a room and it’s the most comforting thing in the world—the tea times, the constant dhikr, the way we sit in the dark, wrapped in silence that feels more like understanding than emptiness. There’s this sort of language barrier between us—a common symptom of moving to the west but I do my best to stay by her side. May Allah grant all of our ayeeyo’s the highest ranks of Jannah, the tragedies they’ve had to witness and the injustices they’ve had to face, we can only work on honoring their names and praying for them (always) 🫠
I have never cried while reading a substack until this one. You have a way with your words. Hooyo Seynab ( my ayeeyo) died this past year and I have been navigating the same grief. You put into words my own feelings that I still have not understood. Thank you abaayo.
what beautiful writing, ayan. it reminds me of losing my grandmother, older cousin, and uncle at young ages. how I wish I had gotten to know them better before they were taken, how I wish they had gotten to know me.
Thank you for sharing this story of your hooyo with us. I never met my late maternal grandma, and my paternal grandma and I were estranged from each other for the last few years before she just passed away this December. It’s beautiful to hear you describe your grief and your love for her. Though I don’t feel that way about my own family members, I resonate deeply with your desire to honor her memory and to wish for more of it when it starts to slip away.
this is so incredibly beautiful, thank you so much for sharing this, i recently lost my grandmother & you have put how i feel into words. im so sorry for your loss ❤️.
I loved this read immensely. It really put things into perspective for me and so I thank you, Ayan. My Ayeeyo is alive by the grace of God but still resides in Somalia. She is of old age and the thought of her death immediately brings me to tears. I pray that we may be reunited soon In Shaa Allah </3
This is some of the most beautiful writing I've read in a long time. I am imagining all the Somali aunties I grew up with as I read this, and my eyes are welling up with tears. Ayan you have such a gift. Thank you for sharing this piece.
May Allah have mercy on our ayeeyos and grant them the highest honour in the next life for all suffering they endured. When we were granted asylum in Canada, my mother had to leave her mother behind to start a better life for us. I know that decision haunted my her and she wasn’t there to hold her hands during her last breath. It is so painful and I would do anything to soothe her aching heart ❤️🩹
I never had a grandmother... and I feel like an intruder here, being from Latin America... but I loved this so so much, thank you for sharing this, truly 🩷
right now it is friday morning as i read this. which holds alot of significance for me. i have spent my best days with my grandmother; my ammi jaan on a friday afternoon lounging in her room on her bed. this made me feel feelings i have been running away from since forever, which is how long it has been since she took her leave back to the god, she loved and taught us to love. its safe to say i understand a fraction of your feelings. thankyou for writing this down and then sharing it. sending so much love to you and prayers to your grandmother ayan. may she be granted jannat ul firdaus.
I’ve reunited with my ayeeyo for the first time in years this month 🥹 so this piece feels extra heartwarming & personal to me right now, we share a room and it’s the most comforting thing in the world—the tea times, the constant dhikr, the way we sit in the dark, wrapped in silence that feels more like understanding than emptiness. There’s this sort of language barrier between us—a common symptom of moving to the west but I do my best to stay by her side. May Allah grant all of our ayeeyo’s the highest ranks of Jannah, the tragedies they’ve had to witness and the injustices they’ve had to face, we can only work on honoring their names and praying for them (always) 🫠
I have never cried while reading a substack until this one. You have a way with your words. Hooyo Seynab ( my ayeeyo) died this past year and I have been navigating the same grief. You put into words my own feelings that I still have not understood. Thank you abaayo.
Wishing you and your grandmother peace <3
This was a beautiful and powerful way to remember the mothers that nurtured your spirit with so much love.
Masha'Allah Ayan, you are a testament to the women that came before you and the women that will follow. Proud to know you even from a distance. 🩷
🧡🧡🧡
what beautiful writing, ayan. it reminds me of losing my grandmother, older cousin, and uncle at young ages. how I wish I had gotten to know them better before they were taken, how I wish they had gotten to know me.
Thank you for sharing this story of your hooyo with us. I never met my late maternal grandma, and my paternal grandma and I were estranged from each other for the last few years before she just passed away this December. It’s beautiful to hear you describe your grief and your love for her. Though I don’t feel that way about my own family members, I resonate deeply with your desire to honor her memory and to wish for more of it when it starts to slip away.
this is so incredibly beautiful, thank you so much for sharing this, i recently lost my grandmother & you have put how i feel into words. im so sorry for your loss ❤️.
i’m ugly crying and i’m not even halfway through
Cried reading this soooo beautifully written. I miss my ayeeyo macaan
My grandmother passed three years ago الله يرحمه and this brought me to tears. Making duaa for her now. Thanks for sharing.
I loved this read immensely. It really put things into perspective for me and so I thank you, Ayan. My Ayeeyo is alive by the grace of God but still resides in Somalia. She is of old age and the thought of her death immediately brings me to tears. I pray that we may be reunited soon In Shaa Allah </3
ameen 🥹 may you be in each other's lives forever