I feel as though we never fully appreciate our greatness until we give ourselves a break and look back at what we’d done. We become too accustomed to the great things we do and it becomes too normalized and blended into the backgrounds of our lives. This was really wonderful to read, you captured the reality of what it’s like to over criticize yourself and displayed it into text so explicitly. Isn’t it so crazy that the desire to avoid being judged by others does the reverse and creates an internalization of that judgment and criticism instead.
this came to me at the right time! got to remember to give myself grace. the ‘work twice as hard but get half’ quote rocked me… i remember having that taped on my desk at my first office job. i wish i was nicer to myself then. the challenge is.. the strive for perfection likely isn’t the most healthy but it has yielded some incredible results. the marginalized mindset that was instilled into me by my parents, whether right or wrong, has been validated by where I’ve arrived and therefore the prophecy has become true… which only repeats the cycle. i don’t have a solution but this essay lets me know I’m not alone in this. I was up editing my novel as well… so your words hit right on time. Thank you!
my darling brendon, you couldn't be mediocre or middling if you tried. i wish you'd been kinder to yourself and saw we all do; that you were always meant to write. i too think my perfectionism has made me better but i also think if i'd been kinder to myself, i could have gotten to this point easier, more weightless. good luck with the novel ✨️ can't wait to get my hands on it wwhen it's done.
"your writing will find a home, no matter how you feel about the sentence structure. your thoughts are important, even if they come out ineloquent. not every piece you create will be life altering; every artist, no matter how brilliant, has a skip in the discography, albums we like less than others because they are people."
i should etch these words into my heart, as to not forget them. i've seen other comments say this but this is truly a peice with perfect timing! its 8am as i read this and i couldn't have started this day off better!
Oh my God this line really just rattled something in me. I can't convey the way I share this sentiment. It's so so true that perfectionism is especially hard to escape when you're a minority. It's like a creature you have to carry on your shoulders if you've ever shown promise. I am so glad I read this. I'm so glad I read this instead instead of killing my brain cells on Instagram. Thank you so much for writing this🥹
Thank you for sharing your words. ive been daydreaming of starting my own newsletter but I can't because “what if im not good enough?”
Today I finally finished my first essay, I edited it, I was ready it to share it here, but then I took a huge step back, turned off the computer, and ended up not posting it.
Your words were everything I needed to hear. Thank you for being a blessing. Keep up the good work, best luck with your debut novel!
thank you for reading them. please start. the day i pressed send on my first essay on here was one of the scariest moments in my career and now look at the beautiful things i've reaped because of that bravery. rooting for you ❤️
This was such a wonderful piece to read. No one talks about how liberating it feels to not strive for perfection from time to time, the mentality to always achieve greater things feels so suffocating (coming from a retired perfectionist), the day i stopped worrying about what other people's thoughts was the day I started to feel happy with the results of the things i was doing. Being able to put myself first was so easy to say but so hard to do, but as you grow you start practicing it more. Thank you for writing this!
i opened the comments determined to write something here that would leave half the impact, half the feeling your piece had evoked in me; i quickly read through other people's comments, obsessively wrote and deleted something, wrote and deleted again, and again, and again, until i realized that that is exactly what your piece is about in the first place. it's about this obsession with writing something that will appear out of the ordinary, the need to sound as eloquent as possible when expressing your thoughts even when they're really a complete mess. the wish to look like i understood this piece *best.* now i'm thinking, there's really no need for that. so i'll just thank you for making me stop and think. i'll thank you for *already* impacting how i view my relationship with art, my relationship with my own thoughts, even though i only read your piece like, what, 15 minutes ago? you're an amazing writer, thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for writing this. A friend sent this to me and it touched me deeply. It can feel paralyzing to feel like your are constant preyed upon despite how exceptional you are. The gaslighted is real. Yet, I still have faith and radically dream. I allow my mind to be free of expectations and to reach the unimaginable. I find that this visualization grounds me to act on my own ambitions and disallow me to accept the anxiety of my majority counterparts to sway me. I am grandmother's wildest dreams. So I must live I must rest I must cloak myself with kindness. It's a journey I am on as I enter my postdoctoral tenure. I thank you seriously thank you. I noticed all of your lower case i and I see you sis
babe you need to look around and realise that geriatric white men are living your dreams because they refuse to look at their work and see anything but potential. put a gag on that inner critic and get to work; we need you!!
I really needed this it taught me that perfectionism is a form of self-sabotage. My perfectionism doesn’t show in my work but my fear of being perceived. Sometimes it’s just good to let go and feel and everything falls and line afterwards !
This is the 2nd piece of yours I’m reading after “I love you stranger” and your writing is so versatile( I’m in awe) plus you convinced me to listen to RM’s album
I feel as though we never fully appreciate our greatness until we give ourselves a break and look back at what we’d done. We become too accustomed to the great things we do and it becomes too normalized and blended into the backgrounds of our lives. This was really wonderful to read, you captured the reality of what it’s like to over criticize yourself and displayed it into text so explicitly. Isn’t it so crazy that the desire to avoid being judged by others does the reverse and creates an internalization of that judgment and criticism instead.
perfectly said. in our evasion of criticism, we become a crueler critic than any outsider. thank you for reading 💗💗
this came to me at the right time! got to remember to give myself grace. the ‘work twice as hard but get half’ quote rocked me… i remember having that taped on my desk at my first office job. i wish i was nicer to myself then. the challenge is.. the strive for perfection likely isn’t the most healthy but it has yielded some incredible results. the marginalized mindset that was instilled into me by my parents, whether right or wrong, has been validated by where I’ve arrived and therefore the prophecy has become true… which only repeats the cycle. i don’t have a solution but this essay lets me know I’m not alone in this. I was up editing my novel as well… so your words hit right on time. Thank you!
my darling brendon, you couldn't be mediocre or middling if you tried. i wish you'd been kinder to yourself and saw we all do; that you were always meant to write. i too think my perfectionism has made me better but i also think if i'd been kinder to myself, i could have gotten to this point easier, more weightless. good luck with the novel ✨️ can't wait to get my hands on it wwhen it's done.
"your writing will find a home, no matter how you feel about the sentence structure. your thoughts are important, even if they come out ineloquent. not every piece you create will be life altering; every artist, no matter how brilliant, has a skip in the discography, albums we like less than others because they are people."
i should etch these words into my heart, as to not forget them. i've seen other comments say this but this is truly a peice with perfect timing! its 8am as i read this and i couldn't have started this day off better!
this makes me so happy. may every morning of yours start with the belief that you are worthy and capable 🫶🏿
"Perfectionism is wanting to be unharmable"
Oh my God this line really just rattled something in me. I can't convey the way I share this sentiment. It's so so true that perfectionism is especially hard to escape when you're a minority. It's like a creature you have to carry on your shoulders if you've ever shown promise. I am so glad I read this. I'm so glad I read this instead instead of killing my brain cells on Instagram. Thank you so much for writing this🥹
my pleasure 🥹 thank you so much for reading it x
Thank you for sharing your words. ive been daydreaming of starting my own newsletter but I can't because “what if im not good enough?”
Today I finally finished my first essay, I edited it, I was ready it to share it here, but then I took a huge step back, turned off the computer, and ended up not posting it.
Your words were everything I needed to hear. Thank you for being a blessing. Keep up the good work, best luck with your debut novel!
thank you for reading them. please start. the day i pressed send on my first essay on here was one of the scariest moments in my career and now look at the beautiful things i've reaped because of that bravery. rooting for you ❤️
an update: i posted it 😱
thank you so much for making a difference in my life
This was such a wonderful piece to read. No one talks about how liberating it feels to not strive for perfection from time to time, the mentality to always achieve greater things feels so suffocating (coming from a retired perfectionist), the day i stopped worrying about what other people's thoughts was the day I started to feel happy with the results of the things i was doing. Being able to put myself first was so easy to say but so hard to do, but as you grow you start practicing it more. Thank you for writing this!
all i have to say is ameen.
i read debut novel and my ears perked up.. i’m sat, waiting, etc.
🤭🤭 you'll be the first to know all the deets
i opened the comments determined to write something here that would leave half the impact, half the feeling your piece had evoked in me; i quickly read through other people's comments, obsessively wrote and deleted something, wrote and deleted again, and again, and again, until i realized that that is exactly what your piece is about in the first place. it's about this obsession with writing something that will appear out of the ordinary, the need to sound as eloquent as possible when expressing your thoughts even when they're really a complete mess. the wish to look like i understood this piece *best.* now i'm thinking, there's really no need for that. so i'll just thank you for making me stop and think. i'll thank you for *already* impacting how i view my relationship with art, my relationship with my own thoughts, even though i only read your piece like, what, 15 minutes ago? you're an amazing writer, thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for your wonderfully kind work - it brought me so much peace on a very challenging day.
Thank you for writing this. A friend sent this to me and it touched me deeply. It can feel paralyzing to feel like your are constant preyed upon despite how exceptional you are. The gaslighted is real. Yet, I still have faith and radically dream. I allow my mind to be free of expectations and to reach the unimaginable. I find that this visualization grounds me to act on my own ambitions and disallow me to accept the anxiety of my majority counterparts to sway me. I am grandmother's wildest dreams. So I must live I must rest I must cloak myself with kindness. It's a journey I am on as I enter my postdoctoral tenure. I thank you seriously thank you. I noticed all of your lower case i and I see you sis
I'm in tears. may every joy find you.
Thank you for this 🙏🏽
need to save to re-read again and again. i look at my draft paralyzed sometimes by my own criticism 😩
babe you need to look around and realise that geriatric white men are living your dreams because they refuse to look at their work and see anything but potential. put a gag on that inner critic and get to work; we need you!!
the way this left me a sobbing mess. this piece is so comforting, like a warm blanket, for people who feel like they will never be enough.
I really needed this it taught me that perfectionism is a form of self-sabotage. My perfectionism doesn’t show in my work but my fear of being perceived. Sometimes it’s just good to let go and feel and everything falls and line afterwards !
This is the 2nd piece of yours I’m reading after “I love you stranger” and your writing is so versatile( I’m in awe) plus you convinced me to listen to RM’s album